By Hugh Hart
Talk about your Greek tragedies: Armed with an ancient story for the ages, the filmmakers behind the new Clash of the Titans movie fail to refresh mythology’s gods and monsters for 21st-century audiences.
Following on the 1981 movie, which at least featured entertaining animation by stop-motion pioneer Ray Harryhausen, this Clash disappoints on multiple fronts.
There was plenty of reason to hold out hope for the remake. Director Louis Leterrier made a pretty good The Incredible Hulk two years ago. Sam Worthington, starring here as the hero Perseus, brought brains and brawn to his human-turned-Na’vi character in Avatar. Yet sparks are few and far between in this by-the-numbers retread.
For one thing, the gods of Mount Olympus stand stiffly on mist-enshrouded pedestals like reality show contestants facing elimination. Meanwhile, back on Earth, Perseus — aided by comely spiritual guide Io (played by Gemma Arterton) — goes on a quest to slay the Kraken.
Once unleashed by its gloomy keeper Hades (Ralph Fiennes), the squirmy sea monster is ready to devour Princess Andromeda (Alexa Davalos) and destroy the rebellious city of Argos.
This, after Hades convinces his divine brother Zeus (Liam Neeson) that humans need to regain respect for the deities. Hades promises to achieve that goal by scaring the crap out of earthlings.
Saddled with generic dialogue and the kind of stentorian acting style that went out of fashion half a century ago, the actors in Clash of the Titans emote on cue and fight with vigor, but their humorless characters go begging for distinctive personalities.
The CGI- and animatronics-powered monsters might have fried eyeballs five years ago but now wow only in fits and starts.
Hades, for example, announces his presence with sooty plumes that could have been lifted straight from Lost’s Smoke Monster. Flying monkeys whip through the air in apparent homage to The Wizard of Oz. And a crew of blind witches seem more like cave-dwelling bag ladies than genuinely scary scourges.
Then there’s the giant, crablike Scorpiochs. Attacking Perseus and his men in the wilderness, they shed milky fluid instead of blood — an effectively freaky touch — but otherwise don’t show much in the way of fighting skills.
Medusa, crowned with coils of writhing skull snakes, turns men into stone per legend before meeting her perfunctorily gory fate. And the Kraken, baring its reptilian incisors, snags a couple of fearsome beauty shots before Perseus comes to the rescue with help from a magic sword bequeathed by Zeus.
The film’s most compelling character is the majestic winged horse Pegasus. In conjuring a fur-and-feathered steed, visual effects supervisors Neil Corbould (Gladiator) and Nick Davis (The Dark Knight) produce the kind of effects magic that’s otherwise missing in action.
Clash of the Titans, rated PG-13, might thrill younger audiences, but the 3-D version won’t blow away anybody who’s seen Avatar. Filmed conventionally and converted to 3-D in the wake of James Cameron’s sci-fi blockbuster, Clash’s action sequences pale next to Avatar’s groundbreaking visuals. Figures tend to appear in rigid planes: foreground, middle distance, background. Aerial scenes lack vertigo-inducing impact while the fast-edit fight scenes rarely exploit immersive depth-of-field.
In one of the rare efforts by screenwriters Travis Beacham, Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi to add edge to Clash of the Titans, Perseus spits out a warning to his men as they enter Medusa’s lair: “Don’t look the bitch in the eye”.
With or without 3-D goggles, it’s advice worth heeding.
WIRED Medusa rocks.
TIRED Two-dimensional characters clad in generic costumes; tired dialogue; un-scary CGI monsters.
Wired
